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Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Make Love Not War: Strange Sex Laws

Abnormally Normal People: Make Love Not War: Strange Sex Laws

I was rummaging around and came across this on Abnormally Normal People, a blog on MSN Spaces:

In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.

In Ames, Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.

A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.

Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts. (Does this replace the customary paper bag placed on the head?)

In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.

In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances.

In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm. (Did they mean, gun as in "firearm" or ...)

The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

In Bakersfield, California, anyone having intercourse with Satan must use a condom.

In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish. (Must kill them first, apparently)

Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude.

In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds!

An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!

A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts. (Why isn't this the law everywhere???)

In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on.

In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."

It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate. (Plenty of time for the entire act and cigarette. Isn't it ...?)

A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.

Anywhere in the U.S., it's illegal to use any live endangered species, excepting insects, in public or private sexual displays, shows or exhibits depicting cross-species sex. (Altogether now: eeeeeeewww!)

Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.

In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.

Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio - a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!" (Heh! Wonder if mirrored footwear would ever become a fashion?)

No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.

It is illegal for any member of the Nevada Legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session. (One can only wonder!)


Blogger jimmi chew said...

I don't even want to know how they managed to come up with that last one, lol....

Figured I should come by and thank you for makin' me see sense with that last post on my blog... I'm kinda embarrassed now, cos' I've had loads of people tellin' me to take it down... it was a spur of the moment thing, I just saw red, and I'm really sorry you had to read it. I was venting my anger, but it should never have been public. Thanks anyway, I owe you one. x x x

10:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my! The sad part about all those silly sex laws is that people actually committed those acts in order for them to put a bug up someone's butt(ooops that broke one of the laws),and bring it to the legislature. "America, home of the free, land of the brave, and keeper of overly legislated"

11:14 PM  
Blogger geminii2 said...

We have so many laws on our records that are absolutely strange because they:
A. Should never have been there to begin with or
B. They are in critical need of an expiration date.

Yet they do not permit the FDA,unless government monies have been put to use in leading universities from grants that were paid for by each hard working and dying American patients who are still constituents,
To have compassionate use of clinical study drugs, when they
have a dis-ease such as cancer, ALS,PD, MS,etc.

[In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the
privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should
not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."]
I believe this is Maryville, MO. -The State's
Motto is "The Show Me State - now I finally know why!

4:57 PM  

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